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From volume 1, issue #32, dated Jan 23rd, 1943

A Story About a British Tommy Who Pulled a Miracle on His Sarge


CAIRO — Some neighboring British soldiers passed on this story:

It seems a Tommy lost his bayonet through care­less­ness and decided to cover the loss by replacing the weapon with one cleverly carved from wood. Things went very well until his company was ordered to fix bayonets. Fearful of baring his wooden sub­stitute, he decided to leave his bayonet sheathed and frantically thought up an answer for the sergeant major who im­mediate­ly demand­ed an ex­plana­tion.

Said he: "My good father, on his deathbed several years ago, pledged me not to bare a bayonet on that date henceforth. Today is that date and I honor his dying wish." The sergeant said the story sounded weak and ex­ceeding­ly fishy, and ordered him to bare his bayonet.

Seeing that the jig was up, the Tommy, as he grasped for the handle, muttered in a solemn voice: "May the Good Lord turn the bloody thing to wood."

A photo of the newsbite can be found here

About newsbites: Each issue of Yank had dozens of short reports on events from the home­front as well as the battle­front. They provide a fas­cinat­ing glimpse into life during the war.

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